I Don't Want To Be Joanna Gaines

“I don’t want to be Joanna Gaines”, is something a fixer upper fan would rarely say… or almost never say.

What kind a Fixer Upper fan in their right frame of mind would not want to be Joanna Gaines. She is a talented self-taught interior designer. A beautiful driven woman who could balance a healthy relationship with her family and built a legacy that helped an economic thriving small town in Texas, changed the reputation of Waco into a big tourist destination that caters to visitors with an excellent southern hospitality. She is also raising beautiful well behaved children, and married to someone who would build anything for her and worships her like a queen. Apart from all these, she wrote books and has her own lifestyle magazine. So.. yeah.. Who wouldn’t want to be Joanna Gaines? Who wouldn’t want to have what she has?

This beautiful impeccable woman inspired me in so many levels in life. I felt a certain connection with Jo after reading her writings. I could relate to her experiences. Even though I am more the Chip in my own relationship. I’m goofy, but I can be handy. Jo and I share some common interests and outlook in life.  I was tempted to desire her life’s achievements, with the verse in mind “I can do all things through Christ” , Maybe, I can create my Magnolia.

My faulty desire started directing me to a wrong turn. I was chasing someone else’s calling instead of finding my own. I ventured on opportunities that could get me any closer to Jo’s success. But everything I put my hands on failed. I was never motivated to keep going. Maybe because my heart wasn’t really into business or building another Magnolia.

If you are familiar with the show Fixer Upper, Chip and Joanna renovates ran down and outdated houses. Joanna based her design on functionality while respecting the house’s architectural history that fits the character and lifestyle of their client.

Just like a fixer upper, I too have to knock down some walls in life that blocks my heart’s openness in seeing the purpose God had crafted exclusively for me.  There will be ripping off dry walls, exposing of shiplaps involved, revealing a character that is made to last.

One of the things I remember in reading the book  Magnolia Story was Jo obeyed to God’s voice even though it didn’t make any sense. Eventually, her obedience had led to her success to build an empire that blessed others.

I have bravely started what I was avoiding all this time. I am in the stage of finding my purpose in writing. I find pleasure in creating a world that is purely imaginative. More specifically, writing a fantasy fiction novel that has been long overdue.

Another thing that spoke to me through Jo’s words of advice, “Never stop doing what you love. Writing gives me a sense of purpose and great joy, that even though I don’t see where it leads me, I am motivated to keep improving in spite of daily responsibilities homeschooling my four year old and two toddlers crowding my feet all day.

I still have other skills to offer that I intend to use, but for now, i have the urge to pour down the words of my heart on paper. Let's start with that.

I still don’t want to be Joanna Gaines. Her success was custom made just for her. Wanting what she has is like trying to fit in a pair of shoes that wasn’t my size.

but I want to be like Joanna Gaines. I want to reach a level of stillness when my heart silent enough to hear God’s voice.

All this time I was looking at the wrong direction. Instead of wanting to be Joanna, God wants me to follow his example. I want to create a world.  A world created behind the pen. Jo’s life is Magnolia. Writing is my Magnolia

Sincerely yours,

Castle Lemon