His Stuff, Her Stuff

The wedding is over. Now what?

The very first home magazine I bought was called Romantic Country Fall Issue 2011 and I LOVED it. Since then, I couldn't wait to  get my hands on the next issue. But I subscribed to Romantic Homes instead which is cheaper. I just couldn't wait to apply the style to my home.

Most women want a home like those were featured in homes magazines. I know I do... very much

Now that we finally have our own space, I viewed it as a blank canvas full of possibilities. My creative juices was all-over the place. I have plans and ideas on how I want each room in my house to look like.

But before I go on marking my territory like a crazy dog, decorating every spaces with dainty laces or  painting the walls bright tangerine hue, there are some important factors that I needed to consider.

There is someone else in the house besides me.

I basically had nothing when I moved here in U.S except from my clothes. And I bought small decorative accents during the span of our stay in France. So when we finally moved to our new apartment, I found myself dealing with a bachelor's stuff. I said to myself, Wait a minute, this doesn't go well with my style.

Don't just go throwing stuff away.

I showed my husband that he is important part in the house too. I did not impulsively throw his things I disliked. I respected his presence by respecting his ownership. I also learned more of him through the stories behind his old toys, souvenirs he bought when he was still single and his hand-over furniture. A simple conversation like this would give way to an intimate getting-to-know-each-other more.

Then eventually, I can ask nicely if there are certain things that he is willing to give-up to make more room for new decors or furniture that we could both own as a married couple and start a new memory, :P

Bought a big painting in Nice France and got the frame from an antique store. Hung this in living room wall to always remind us of our significant year in Europe.

Me and Jon had the habit of buying miniature buildings and monuments souvenirs of places we been to.

He has something to say too

When he says he doesn't care, sometimes it means he hasn't decided yet. Surprisingly, there are men who do care for the design or patterns of the couch or what color of paint should go with the living room walls. This is his house too and I am sure we both want to have a livable and comfortable home. It will be a challenge to make a pretty house that suits my feminine taste but a little more acceptable for a man. I understand that he doesn't want to feel he is at his mother or grandmother's house. I want to give him a feel that this is his home of comfort and refuge.

I praise my husband's good skill in organization. Even though I wanted to claim the kitchen as my territory, I shared this by letting Jon to take part with the decisions where kitchen stuff should go. It makes it easier for the both of us and he doesn't have to ask me where are things all the time.

It is understandable that women couldn't wait apply that French country farmhouse or paste that soft colored French toile wallpaper in the kitchen or copy that Rustic Italian living room from HGTV. I want to make a home not just staged photo shoot for home magazines. After-all, magazines are meant to inspire. It inspired me to make my own art and be creative by personalizing some of his old stuff and making it like new.

Home decorating is not a matter of life or death of marriage. I consider it as also an activity I do and a piece of conversation with him, making him feel I want him to be a part of my world and what I care about.