How My Kids Scare Me

I had just tucked my baby to the swing for an afternoon nap. I successfully snicked  out and came flying downstairs to quickly wash the feeding bottles when I suddenly missed a step. The next thing I found myself was, I was laying on the floor calling my husband for help.

Here's the unthinkable part. While I was on the floor screaming from pain down my foot, all I could think of was "oh no! How do I get back upstairs to prompted my baby's bottle back? She needs me." I wasn't thinking if I broke a bone or anything that concerns my painful foot. I was more concerned, I had to put my baby her bottle back? HOW SILLY IS THAT!?

4 years ago, I never thought I would be more concerned more about milk bottle over a foot accident. I find it fascinating how motherhood  can change my way of thinking. 

Its funny and alarming to think that I would care so much about someone new, someone so selfish and someone barely I knew more than my life.

There are many things that scares me. My children scares me in a different way. "They grow up so fast", is not just an expression. I had this sudden fear when my children look up to me as if asking me a question " I just turned two .So what's next in life?", knowing I am still figuring life myself. Responsibility is not what frightens me. To see them get hurt is like experiencing death while living. 

I do not recognize the old me anymore. I guess that's healthy? Motherhood opened my eyes to see a whole different level of love. It changes me.There's a peculiar strength motherhood brings.

Strength in forgiveness

Strength to sacrifice
Strength to deny myself

Strength to execute selflessness.