 |
| I cannot believe my pants size shrunk 3 sizes down and I am wearing small again! |
The biggest lie I believed when I became a mom was I can never get enough sleep. There is some truth to it as I desire for that extra needed rest. I took that advice to heart that I am entitled to that pleasure, but it wasn't all beneficial. For five years, I have made use of my extra time (when kids were napping) to slouch on the couch and eat everything I want while I watch junk TV shows. It has been my routine and wished to stay that way, but for some reason, I felt more and more depressed. My body missed being active.
I looked at myself and had a Mulan moment. Who is that girl I see? I did not recognized myself anymore. All I saw was a girl stuck in loop of the same viscous routine. I have not smart in using time I was given.
Don't mistaken me for being an unhappy stay-home-mom. My heart is planted at home. I couldn't wish anywhere else to be. I made it my mission to bring up my kids to be the best adults. I want to be there when my children are in their most vulnerable stage. I believe this is a crucial stage when trust is built. But in order to fulfill my duties, I have keep my sanity and I remember who I am aside from being the mom.
I could not count how many time I broke my promise. Until one day, I am fed up with my hypocrisy and decided to get more active using what is available of me timewise. I looked at that treadmill that I was blessed to get for free and decided to start using it. I did 15 minute of fast walk and 50 burpees everyday that took my a good hour a day. I made time for and made its as one of my everyday routine.
I thought I always never had enough energy for exercise, when in fact, it gave me more energy get through all my tasks at home (house chores and taking care of my twins and homeschooling). Losing weight can never be enough motivation to get fit. My main gold is to get stronger to keep up with things I love to do.
I tried to be smarter with my food choices too. Exercise goes hand in hand with eating smart. There's no way around it. The first few months were discouraging because it felt like nothing was happening. I just had to keep pressing on and be smart with what I eat.
I won't deny guilt is involved. I should have been using that extra hour to give to my kids instead of exercising. I find it to be a lie. I want my kids to see me as not just a mommy. Mommy needs to take care of mommy too. It teaches them the importance of taking care of their bodies. I was so proud when Mirabella said, "Look mommy, I am exercising so I can have more energy too!".
Sometimes I forget my children learns from things I do as an adult. I don't want to be that parent who hovers over them every single second of the day and be their slaves on demand. To me, that's not parenting.
I am thankful and blessed that I am in the season of life where I can teach my kids to be independent, but be available when they need me.
One hour for myself is what I needed and that is not selfishness.
