A Poor Woman's Dream

My definition of success is the ability to buy as much as I can. I feel more valuable if I have more money. People are nicer to you when you buy things from them and or give things away. Thankfully, I am not obsessed with my so called definition of "success"

How I define success probably came from my upbringing. My mother valued earning more than staying home. She wasn't that kind of woman. She spent all life earning every bit of income so she could provide proper education for all of us six children. Maybe, that's what molded how I see success.
As a child, I remember thinking,..
 "I hope my mother would get enough money to buy everything, so she can finally stay home and be with me".
It didn't happen. Till this day, she doesn't stop working so she had something to give to down her grandchildren.

At the airport

                                 

 Recently, she traveled to visit me in U.S to check on me. It was our great chance to bond. I heard backstories that made her cry,.. that also that made me cry. I always saw her as my mom. To hear her backstory, it was like seeing her as a person for the first time

My mother is the strongest woman I've ever met. She faced unfortunate situations since the beginning of her life. I've always wondered what her dreams were when growing up. The answer broke my heart.

My mother was never allowed to dream. She had no idea that there is life beyond poverty. To her, comfort doesn't exist and all there was, only surviving the next day. She had brothers and sisters died  at a very young age of disease and hunger , some of them were, I imagine were infants. School wasn't an option, but at least she made it to third grade. She started working at six years old. Being the oldest girl, she was expected to help and take care of her younger siblings.

Eventually, she fell in love and hoped to start a happy family with the man who promised her the stars. But her marriages didn't work quite as she hoped. Her in-laws oppressed and maltreated her during her first marriage while her husband brought another woman home and cheated right in front of her.

My mother was a young, naive teenager who was forced to climbed over a glass-spiked wall as a chance of escape, carrying all her three kids under the age of four, including a breastfeeding infant.

Out of poverty, her father (my grandfather) suggested that she put her children to orphanage, for they too barely have anything to live on. In spite of circumstances, she managed to send all her kids to college and bought lands as their inheritance that presently helped them start their own business as a means of welfare

My mother made her life's mission to make sure all of us have a comfortable life. She made sure she gave the six us proper education so that we have options in life.

 I've always resented her absence in my life. But now as a mother, I understand she did what she had to do, and life made her who she was and is. I know, if she was given a choice, she could have lived differently, but that wasn't the case with her upbringing.

Life can sometimes be unfair, but my mother found a way around it with hard work and determination that her children would live differently from the life she had.

My mother gave her best to protect her children. She succeeded. It was tough on her when I, her (baby) left to live to another country. There was this fear that she couldn't protect me if anything goes wrong.  She never pushed me to marry in exchange for a comfortable life. In fact, she was against the idea that I leave the country and get married. It wasn't what she taught us. She taught us that success has no shortcuts. It can be achieved in any place. But I fell in love with this man who just happened to be from another country.

There was a calming sense of relief on her part to see I am living a life she never had. Happily married to a kind and wonderful man whom I have three beautiful children with and with In-laws who love and accepted me as their own.

I cannot take all the credit for  the blessings I've been given. Maybe part of that was my mother's reward for winning life's challenges even when odds played unfairly. 

Who would  know, that little vendor girl who sold tomatoes in the slums of Manila would one day see the other side of the world

I guess, not knowing what to dream worked on her best interest. She believed actions spoke louder than ambition. She loved all her children equally with all her heart and strength, and the result of that is a reward beyond dreams she could imagine. She succeeded to win in this game called life. Family is her crown. Her story is my heritage

Happy Mother's day to the queen of my life!