I've always viewed my brother-in-law as a tough guy. He scared many with his personality including some of my friends. A tattooed guy who drinks a lot, talked loudly. He always thought nobody else knew his own body but him. He thought he was stronger than any liquor there is. It had been his lifestyle. His motto was “one beer a day keeps the doctor away”. But in spite of his imperfections, he was very nice and wasn't greedy. He was kind. He was a provider to his family. He treated us his primary family. He thought of our welfare . He opened his house for us whenever our parents were not around. He included us at his dinner count.
Friday was the first time i heard of his health deteriorated. The next day i was updated of his hopeless critical condition. “Bring him home”was the doctor's final suggestion. He needs to be with his family in his last days. My brother-in-law was at his final stage of lung cancer. Even though it was a heartbreaking news, I did not lose hope. I have a God to turn to, hoping he could do something.
I poured my heart in prayer like a child crying over a stolen toy talking her father.
I have heard stories of your miracles. Miracles recorded in history and in lives of many people I know personally. I even have one of my own. You are the creator of heaven and earth. You formed a human out of dirt and gave it life. You raise the dead. You cut the sea in half and it swallowed the enemies chasing your people. Healing a messed-up liver is no big deal compared to what you have done. I believe you can even grow a new one inside my brother-in-law's body.
But you are God who can do anything you please but i know it is not bad to ask you for one more miracle in any way You want. I know you will make a way.
These were the words that came out of my mouth, but my heart beats a different tone. There was a confusion and a hint of hopelessness. In fact I felt I was wrestling with my faith. There were words in my heart that said, I know He is God. He will do as He please. He knows what is the best thing to do, more than my pathetic mind can grasp. One thing I learned in my Christian life was, I can only ask, but I do not have the right to give direct orders to God.
Many friends and church-mates told me they have been praying for my brother-in-law's healing and comfort to our family's aching spirit. These prayers built hope that my brother in law will be okay but the next day, a devastating news came to me that he is already gone.
Does that mean prayers did not work?
My heart was broken with a burden that I cannot be with my sister to comfort her with a hug. To make things worse, my husband and I caught a terrible flu at the same time which made it impossible for us to stay-up to be online to at least be there during the service. I was broken-hearted and physically weak. I talked to our pastor's wife during the funeral over the phone. It was the day when our pastor gave a service at the funeral. She told me the good news that my brother-in-law recommitted his life to Christ after years of being away from the Lord. He wanted to go to the church but he could hardly walk. To me this is a miracle.
I realized there was a miracle after-all. My brother in law was far away from Jesus for too long. I know God missed him. He might not have loved his body like he ought to care for it but God always loved him and always waited for him to come back. He did not hesitate to let his new found son go stray again right after recommitted his life to the Lord. My brother-in-law may have destroyed his flesh with vices but God is strong enough to forgive and give him not only a new liver, but a brand new body and an eternal life with him.
Despite of death of a loved one, i still strongly believe God can perform miracles in His own will.
I was wrong to question if the prayers did not work. I believe they healed many broken hearts and even gave my brother in law a new life and Personally, the same prayers brought me comfort, peace and praise that God wasn't too late to perform another miracle.
Thank you all to my friends in blog world who were with us in prayers.