I am on

2012/09/02

Till Death Do They Part


Sometimes i wonder what hurts more? Losing a partner or losing a child? I guess it hurts either way. But that's not the case with my friend who just lost her husband. They never had a child together. For 25 years, they only got each other.

I have been married to my husband for almost three years but I cant even begin to think of the idea of 'till death do us  part'.


Her husband Bob was only days away from death after a broken hip accident. Yes, broken hip sounds a  simple  thing but  it  was more complicated than that.  Bob was at that  age  with  multiple  health  problems. But in spite of everything, she loved him unconditionally. She stayed with him even through her husband's darkest days of  blindness. She endured Bob's frustrations of losing his sight  along with his self esteem,. There was a time that a man's pride (especially  to a  former  soldier) was  crushed  of self  pity and felling of uselessness, but  Susan stood firm as a faithful and caring wife and loved him no matter what. She lifted Bob's self esteem up again even if it means total submission, letting him win most of the time. Then his dementia came which it meant harder work, more sleepless nights and dealing with her husband's delusions of Vietnam war experiences. They never had a child. Susan was not alone. God got her back.

Bob had many health problems in his age. In fact, he was suppose to be gone 4 years ago, but God heard his wife's prayer "LORD 3 more years " along with her much love  care and support, he  lived 4  more years as a very happy man. He would join our conversations and most of the time entertained us with his humorous jokes. He could even go to church. He was there on my birthday and was able to enjoy a buffet.


It was a great thing my friend was a nurse until she became her husband's personal nurse. She knew what was best for Bob.  She fought hard when others opinion said her husband  had to go but her love kept him going. She proved they wrong  

God is good to her who gave her the strength to stand firm for her husband's  welfare and even to his spiritual journey. hardships, fatigue did not bother her as the Lord was on her side. I don't remember Susan without a smile on her face, until last Wednesday, it seemed the heaven told her "rest  now  my child. Let me handle the rest".

Bob is now in the arms of the Lord where there  are no more  pain  or broken flesh. My simple prayer is for God would be there for her for one more time in her grieving. I trust that like He was  with  my friend in her marriage, there He will be also as is a widow.





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12 comments:

  1. Thank you for this caring post, I have many tears right now. I do not know what it is like to loose a partner but I do know what it is like to care for someone who is very sick, become very close to them and then loose them as I lost my mother only a few weeks ago from cancer. I came back to New Zealand from a life overseas as an expat thinking I was caring for my mum for 8 weeks after she fractured her back, then return to my husband who was working in the Middle East. Those 8 weeks turned into 2.5 years where my mum was battling with cancer, not just a fractured back, her back fractured because of undiagnosed cancer (breast to bone).

    Like your friend, and having no family or brothers and sisters in New Zealand I cared for my mum until she took her last breath. I had times when I felt I couldn't cope any more but friends were wonderful and helped me through those times. I miss my mum terribly and would do it all over again if I could have her back and I imagine your friend will feel like this too.

    I cannot imagine at the moment feeling happy again but I guess it will come with time, I feel at a total loss. One thing though that came out of this awful disease was that I had never had a good relationship with my mother in the past but the cancer changed her and she mellowed and what originally seemed so important to her like her house and things in it became less important and our relationship grew so strong we were like best friends until she sadly passed away on the 6th August.

    I think what is important in life is that we try to be unselfish and think of others and grow closer to God. I admire and understand why your friend wanted to be there for her husband through all the trials of his health. It is not an easy thing to do but it is honouring and admirable.

    Just be there for your friend, quietly and gently be there for her as she will need you even when she thinks she won't. I know this as I can easily shut myself away from the world right now but my good friends will call me and bring me and encourage me to go out, I don't know what I would do without them.

    Thank you again for sharing this post.

    Lee ☺

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    1. Nothing can replace a mother's love. Sometimes unfortunate events happen for good. It was great to think that you two spent those remaining times making up for a bad relationship you had your mom. Though it hurts, it brought you closer to each other even for a short period of time. I think that act of love covered everything in the past.
      I didn't have a good relationship with my mother either, but the unfortunate of being away from each other gotten us closer. I now cannot imagine of losing her.

      My condolences to you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts :)

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  2. My prayers are with your friend and her loss as I lost my husband at a young age leaving me behind with 4 children and it has been a very long time. Children have grown, grandchildren have been born and it seems life goes on without them if we like it or not. Time heals but your never forget and just learn to keep on, praying and knowing that one day with faith you will be together again. My heart breaks for her, I know as I lost the best friend I ever hoped to have. Blessing Marilou

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    1. You sound like a very strong woman. I am very sure your children and your grandchildren are very proud of you for what you did to raise them well just like my mother! Such women of strength.

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  3. Such an inspiring post. Of Love, Endurance, Faith... always Faith.
    Thanks you and Be Blessed for having witnessed all and sharing it with us.
    Teresa

    "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."

    John 14

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    1. Thank you Teresa. It is my pleasure to write a stories of faith I witnessed.

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  4. I enjoyed reading your inspiring post. A lost hurts no matter what, be it a spouse, brother, sister, parent...it hurts. But sometimes, after the hurt, we get our greatest comfort in knowing we were there to comfort and take care of a love one until the end.

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  5. I feel a great kinship with your friend. I too cared for my soldier when he became disabled over 25 years ago. He would tease that when we got married he was in charge and look what I did to get the reins. He was the love of my life and Bob is for her. He passed 4 years ago the 8th of this month. He and Bob are around the cornor waiting for us. We have more time here and they are basking in the love of our Lord and probably saying we could never get anyplace on time. (old soldiers, you know). Give her my love and thank you for sharing this. Regena in Tennessee.

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    1. Men like your husband and Bob are so blessed to be married to women like you and my friend. Those soldiers who served the country deserved such great women to be on their side :)
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts

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  6. What a moving tribute to your friend and her husband. When loss comes, it is faith, family, and friends who will hold us up. You are a true friend!

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  7. Very touching story and always a blessing to hear someone endure hardship because of their faith in Christ. Thanks for sharing this. Gail (BibleLoveNotes.com)

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Your sweet comment brightens my day